I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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