I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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