sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize