It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
