Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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