I've blown a few things in my day
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
