my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
