we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
