lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
