I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
