you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
