My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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