Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
