this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize