She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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