What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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