when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
