Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize