you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize