she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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