It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
