I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
