Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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