they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize