I accidentally had phone sex last night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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