Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You work out of a Hotel?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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