Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
