I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
