we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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