Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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