he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ketchup is God's man juice
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
