so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
