I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
