great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
