everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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