she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
