Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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