i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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