He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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