I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
