You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This baby is an asshole
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
