Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
