I'm sorry my penis didn't work
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize