and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
