i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
