omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want her autograph on my taint
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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