spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
