ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
