I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
