Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
her vagine was all disorganized.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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