im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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