you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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