You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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