I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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