talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
