and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize