I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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